


Where is it?

by jkkitty



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:58:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jkkitty/pseuds/jkkitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Napoleon and Illya a kidnapped for something they didn't do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The auto weaved between cars parked on each side of the narrow road. Its speed increasing as the following Thrush began to catch up.

"Illya, I would rather you not kills us with your driving," Napoleon said returning fire at the lead car.

"Would you rather I slow down so they can catch us?" Illya shot back.

"No, but…"

"Well maybe you would rather take over driving?"

Napoleon took a moment to look at the road before them, which continued to narrow and swivel. "No, thanks."

"Then focus on the danger behind us, while I get us out of here."


	2. Chapter 2

Just returning from a diplomatic assignment, they were surprised when Thrush had ambushed them.

"Did you blow up something I don't know about?" Napoleon asked firing at the following cars.

"Nyet," a strained voice answered. "Did you take something that belongs to them?"

"Not me."

Illya continued to speed down the road until Napoleon heard him swear.

"Do I want to know what's wrong?"

"They have us boxed in," Illya called back.

Trying to turn into an alley, the car tipped sending both men into darkness.

They regained consciousness, surrounded, sun in their eyes and guns aimed at them.


	3. Chapter 3

"Gentlemen," Eric Fabus, the tall blond neighborhood Thrush Chieftain said. "You have something that belongs to us, and we'd like it back now."

"Sorry, Eric. I've no idea what you're talking about. Do you Illya?"

"Sorry I think you have the wrong UNCLE agents this time," Illya said.

Fabus kicked him in the ribs. As Napoleon went to his partner's aide, he was also kicked.

"I gave you a chance to handle this in a peaceful way, now we'll do it the hard way. Bring them along."

With that, the agents felt a stringing in their neck and darkness returning.


	4. Chapter 4

April and Mark entered Waverly's office to see him puffing angrily on his pipe.

"You wanted to see us sir."

"Confound Thrush. Mr. Solo and Kuryakin were ambushed then taken as they were returning from an assignment. According to the rumors, Thrush believes that they had stolen one of their devices."

"And they didn't, sir?" April asked.

"We were unaware of it until their kidnapping. I want you two to find out what this device is. If you can't retrieve it, destroy it."

"Yes sir," the two said standing.

"And I would appreciate you bringing Mr. Solo and Kuryakin back alive."


	5. Chapter 5

Napoleon and Illya woke ropes around their wrist, ankles and chest secured to a chair. Their clothes, except undershorts, had been removed.

"Welcome back to the world of the living," Fabus said. "Now I would like our property back."

"I know you're not going to believe this, but we don't know what you're talking about. Check your people. We were protecting some presidents for the last week."

"And just happen to be around when the Cellular Disbursement device disappeared?"

Napoleon shrugged, "Never heard of it."

Tired of being nice Illya said, "Because we could, does not mean we did!"


	6. Chapter 6

"And you Mr. Kuryakin. Are you going to deny you never heard of it?" Fabus challenged.

"I've heard of it and if I knew it was here would have attempted to steal it, but as Napoleon said we are innocent."

"Really gentlemen, I'm losing my patience. Either tell me where it is or I'll have my men find out for me."

Shrugging once more and hoping that someone had received their signal before capture, Napoleon and Illya knew that this was going to be a long, painful day.

Fabus left, ordering his men to get the location of the device.


	7. Chapter 7

April and Mark arrived at the location of the accident. The police informed them that an ambulance had taken a blond and brunette away but not one could say where or even what the ambulance company's name was.

Looking thought the grass that lined the edge of the road, Mark found two broken communicators.

"They didn't want us to follow," he told April showing her the collection of broken metal.

April smiled, "They don't know our Russian do they." With that, she reset her communicator until a beeping appeared.

"Leave it to Illya's pessimistic nature. His secondary tracer is working."


	8. Chapter 8

Following the tracer to a run-down warehouse, Mark and April watched the comings and goings. April poked Mark when Fabus stepped out for a cigarette.

"I'll get his attention," she said messing up her hair, discarding her blazer and holster, and covering her gun in her waistband before opening her blouse's top buttons.

Mark shook his head as she wiggled up the road.

"Hey mister. My car broke down a few miles back, and I could use help," she said.

He looked her over smiling figuring it was his lucky day. "Come inside my dear, and let me help you."


	9. Chapter 9

"I just need to check on something and then I'd be more than happy to help you beautiful." Fabus said leaving April in a room right inside the door while he checked on the interrogation.

Once he was gone, April opened the door and Mark slipped in. They then headed in the direction that Fabus had taken.

…..

Fabus looked at the agents whose faces and chests were bruised and bleeding.

"There is no reason to extend this torture. Just tell me where's the device and I'll stop this."

"And kill us, no thanks." Napoleon slurred through his battered lips.


	10. Chapter 10

"Mr. Kuryakin are you letting your partner speak for you?"

Illya glared through his swollen eyes. " _Proklyatie_!"

"Your choice. Let's try the electrodes." Fabus ordered.

"I wouldn't do that mate." Mark said while April darted the other men before they could react.

Mark untied the men while April directed Fabus to sit.

Illya stretched his body to release the built-up tension.

Napoleon shook his hands to get the blood flowing again. "Now. Where was this device last seen?"

"You really don't have it?" Shocked Fabus asked.

"What part of we did not take it, do you not understand?" Napoleon demanded.


	11. Chapter 11

"Although we lie when needed, we told you we did not have it," Illya said coldly making Fabus realize this man was as dangerous as he had been warned.

Before anything further was discussed, April's communicator beeped.

"Miss Dancer, have you retrieved my missing agents?"

"Yes sir. We were just about to start searching for the device."

"No need. One of Thrush's scientists just turned it over to us. Bring yourself and my agents home. Cleanup will arrive soon." He clicked off.

Napoleon whispered to Illya. "This machine better be special!"

"And worth it," Illya added heading to the car.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> double

Napoleon and Illya bandaged and bruised looked at the ordinary box on Waverly's desk.

"This is what all the excitement was about?" Napoleon looked dubious at it.

"Even I am not impressed," Illya added.

The scientist looked sheepishly. "It doesn't work yet. But you know how Thrush is, so I lied until I could get away."

"A fake," Illya spit out.

Napoleon laugh.

"Not funny, Solo." Illya frowned.

"All the times we've successfully stolen their inventions, we're kidnapped because of a red herring."

"This had nothing to do with a fish Napoleon."

Napoleon shook his head, "Red herring means something false."

"Why do you Americans insist on using terms that have nothing to do with what you mean?"

April stepped between the two men before they could continue with this particular ongoing battle. "What are we going to do with the device?"

"Mr. Kuryakin, take our guest and see what you can do with that machine. Mr. Solo you're to interrogate Fabus. Mr. Slate and Miss Dance you're on your way to Brazil."

As they left Waverly heard his top team banter begin once more. Boys will be boys, even grown-up one, was the thought that crossed his mind.


End file.
